10 TIPS FOR WHEN TIPS FOR WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY SIGNED UP FOR A MARATHON
THE "OOPS, I ACCIDENTALLY SIGNED UP FOR A MARATHON AND NOW I HAVE REGRETS!" SURVIVAL GUIDE
A popular form of overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at a**-o’clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold until it’s time to run, at which point they miserably trot for a god-awful interval of time that could be better spent sleeping in and/or consuming large quantities of beer and cupcakes.
See also: masochism, awfulness, "a bunch of bullsh*t," boob-chafing, cupcake deprivation therapy.
“The DOs and DO NOTs of running your first marathon” -The Oatmeal
OKAY. So, you signed up for Queen City Marathon while feeling slightly impulsive. Are you waking up in the middle of the night thinking, "OH MY, what have I done?!"
We get it. It happens!
Running 26.2 miles in one day is pretty badass. (We would know. We have run in exactly ONE Queen City Marathon… which basically makes us marathon running experts, right?) So, let's talk about how you can survive this thing!
1. PANIC… No, that’s not right. BREATHE!
You will get through this and be alive at the finish line. Probably.
2. Loosen up a bit first.
We recommend throwing back a yard at Knotted Thistle Pub! While you’re at it, carb up with our Chicken Penne Pasta – served with charred chicken, bell peppers, broccoli, Grana Padano cheese, and tossed in a basil cream sauce. *drool*
3. Start prepping excuses.
Not confident that you will make it to the finish line? You might as well start prepping your excuses now. You could use the classic "My dog ate my running shorts" or use one of the below excuses from Runner’s World:
- I applied far too much anti-chafe cream and damaged myself when I accidentally did the splits.
- I saw a sign that read “You’re nearly there!” but I wasn’t, so I stopped in protest. I will not be lied to.
- I could not find my sleeveless top and there is no point running, racing or – frankly – living if I cannot display my guns – 155mm howitzers – to an adoring public.
4. Speaking of chafing…
Running a marathon can rub you the wrong way. LITERALLY. You will chafe in places you didn't even know possible. Protect the nips with Bodyglide or Vaseline. Trust us; you'll thank us later.
5. Get enough sleep!
Lucky for you, if you are staying at the QCM host hotel (that would be us!), you are GUARANTEED a good night's sleep. Can’t sleep? Call our front desk, and the Guest Ambassadors will read you a bedtime story.
*Or instead of bugging the front desk staff let Samuel L Jackson's voice soothe you to sleep.
6. RUN FORREST RUN!
No, really... this is the part where you have to run… or walk, skip, or crawl. Regardless of your method of locomotion, just keep those legs moving.
7. Stay hydrated with electrolytes.
Us: For the last time, we’re pretty sure what’s slowing down our marathoners is this Brawndo stuff.
You: So wait a minute. What you’re saying is you want us to put water in our bodies?
You: Water. Like out of the toilet?
Us: Well, we mean, it doesn’t have to be out of the toilet, but, yeah, that’s the idea.
If you understood this reference, you are officially our favourite human.
*The Atlas° Hotel does not condone toilet water use for hydration purposes.
8. Losing energy at mile 10?
What are your thoughts on ducks? Have you heard about the duck that ran a marathon? Are you going to let a duck beat you at a marathon? That's quackers! If a duck can finish a marathon, you can finish a marathon. (Psst… we've heard letting out a loud quack while running makes you run faster).
9. Change up your mindset.
Instead of being all, "Ugh, running marathons ruffles my feathers," try to be like, "Hey, I am probably not going to die, so it is all going to be okay even if I hurt in places I didn't know I could hurt."
10. Dance like no one is watching.
When you finally hit that finish line, it's time to bust a move. You don't want the spectators to see you collapse on the ground with Jell-o legs. We recommend The Running Man, or if you have already collapsed to the ground, start doing The Worm! No one’s gonna know.
You have officially survived the QCM marathon! So now it's time to kick off those stinky shoes, bandage up all your blisters, and enjoy the comfort of your couch while moving on to your second marathon of the Netflix variety. So here you will stay for the next three days while you contemplate what in the world made you think it was a good idea to wake up at the crack of dawn and run 42.2 km around Regina.
“Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.”
-Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
Super Secret Bonus Links!
Made it this far? Congrats! You've won some bonus links to help you level up your running game.
Other than the marathon, many other exciting activities are happening all weekend long. Be sure to check out everything the GMS Queen City Marathon has t offer.
Regina is home to an excellent and active running and walking scene. Run Regina has an extensive list of local clubs and programs to fulfill your training, coaching or adventure needs.
With the best selection of top brand-name running shoes and apparel, this is your go-to place to get decked out in some epic race gear.
Regina’s multi-use pathways are great for cycling, walking, running, skateboarding, rollerblading and skiing.
Get out of your head with some curated playlists. Check out our Spotify account for some playlists to enjoy.
Are you hosting an event in Regina? We can help with room blocks, event space, and emotional support (planning a large-scale event is hard!).